Yep, that about sums it up. I haven't been blogging because I'm so embarrassed about my lack of writing, not to mention lack of ideas. I wrote a tiny bit today, so I feel that I'm justified in posting a few new thoughts here.
Why is it just so hard, sometimes? I sit down, when I have free time, and the ideas and motivation don't come. I either sit and think about all the things I need to do or the million little issues that life keeps throwing at me or I just let my mind numb for a few minutes because of the two previous reasons I just stated. The idea of time for me seems like a joke as of late. I won't lie and say I don't have moments where I'm not constantly being pulled in a million directions, but those are also the only moments I have to spend time watching a movie with that man I live with or time to take care of odds and ends that are enjoyable, online. Ahh, the joys of window-shopping through the net. But, I digress.
"All the voices keep screaming in my head....they say, 'Lovelace, who is this fool?!?" -- Happy Feet
How do I quiet the voices long enough to let the creative ones whisper in their dulcet tones? How do I ignore the fact that I'm just so tired long enough to put pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard)? Its just so hard. I hate that. Its just so hard. Those words make me feel like some sort of lost child, but I can't help myself. I used to say that you just have to force yourself, but those were days where forcing myself seemed...easy. Its not easy right now. Not by a long shot. I want to finish. I want to write. I want to push past myself and just do it, but I keep stopping myself. I don't know. I guess I need to find something to silence the voices or drown them out. Wish me luck.